is time for mi to write out what have happen on the 19 April ): *sad*

1st of all, i did say that i was pregnant in moi blog on the Feb time. & i did moi 1st scan on the feb too & den the gyane say bcos i juz just 1month pregnant so the baby wasnt clearly can see but there was a baby in the womb. So i fix another app for 2nd scanning. & the gyane scanned & say cant find the baby. She scanned super long too find where the baby goes. In the end still cant find, so she ask mi go KKH specialist to see better. So i book appointment on the 13 April.


So on the 13 April i went for the scanning everything, & the same thing the gyane cant find the baby. & the gyane say better wash away. So that i can heal & get pregnant again. So i & hubby was think, moi gyane did say b4. There will a patient went to 4 specialist say that her baby have die, ask her go wash away. & she didnt bother & 2 months later as she already going 5months pregnant. Moi gyane help her to scan. Indeed her baby was fine. Nothing happen at all. So we tot that mayb baby is too small so we say we wait fro another 2weeks as after 2weeks going b moi 3months pregnant. So went back home, but i did cry out in the hospital as the heard the gyane say cant find baby at all. i was so UPSET. But Hubby was at moi side hugging mi ask mi dun think too much. Thanx Hubby.

Den after when home, a few days later i started bleeding & from a little to getting more bleed. & moi stomach was abit pain too. So on the 18 April i went to KKH 24hr Clinic to see doctor. As she did all the scanning. & same thing, same ans. There are no baby in moi WOMB! I walk out of the clinic, I cry out from my heart. I cant take it anymore. I almost fainted. I that time super depress & upset till i dunno wat to say. I did cal moi mummy to tell her. & she comfortable mi say mayb the baby dun mean to be mine. As i was knowing that hubby was upset & disappointed too. How come this thing happen to us. We was cant face the fact at all. But after awhile i still have to give a ans to the doc say i wanna wash away anot. I was upset to discuss with hubby. & after that we went in to the doc room tell her to make tml 19 April app for the abortion. So with a upset & heartpain heart going home. I reach home i cry it badly, i cant take it anymore. & Hubby too, he didnt cry. Cos is really veri pain the hurt. We both dunno wat to say & do. But hubby keep console mi dun think so much. Is really happen to be there this. No use crying le. But i still cry.

So on the morning 19 April as the doc asy mi from 12am to the morninguntill moi OP start i cant eat or drink. As when i reach the hospital, i do all the admin things & the nurse brought mi up to moi ward as i onli stay there till nite time den i discharge le. So Hubby was all the way with mi. I was super upset that i have to wash away & i have to pretend i wanst sad, cos i dun wanna hubby to upset & worry about mi. Den one of the doc came & insert a medicine into moi viginal. & she say i will have a stomach cramp like those time having period. But slowly the pain come. the bear wasnt STOMACH CRAMP it was like the time when u wanna give birth. The pain make mi wanna die & i cant even eat any painkiller at all. So the doc say moi OP will start at 12plus to 1pm. Den i from 11plus start to pain, den i waited till 12plus i ask the nurse why i haven go for the OP yet. The nurse told mi that there were a veri urgent case so moi OP have to delay till she oso dunno wat time, but she say till the case is over. So i pain from 11plus till 2plus. U guys guess how painful i was. Even hubby at moi side talking to mi to make mi distract from the pain. but the pain is unbeartable at all. I really cant tahan. Finally the nurse say is moi turn le. She ask mi to sit in the wheelchair & she bring mi & hubby to the OP room. But hubby have to stay outside to wait for mi. When i went into the room, it wast straight away start, i still have to wait till all the doc is in the OP room den can start. I was sooo pain till i cry out le. I really can tahan at all le. So i cry, & den finally all the doc came. & the progress started. They put mi to sleep so that i wont feel the pain. The progress end around 45mintues. & after i was awake they sent mi back to moi ward. They say i have to rest for 6hours later den can go home. But at 1st they wasnt allow to let mi go home de. But i insist to go home, cos i dun wanna stay over in the hospital. So i was so hungry till finally 5pm & the dinner was here le. I eat it so fast that i not even full at all. But no choice have to go home den can eat. U imgine almost 13hours nv eat & drink at all. Make mi so xinku. At last i get to eat, den after eating i still have to wait for the doc to come sign the paper to approve mi from going home. & when the time he came was 8plus le. So after everything is done, cad-ed back home to rest. After straight i reach home, change into moi sleeping clothes & i less den 10 mintues i fall alseep le.

Untill now i can say the pain is still there, i everyday remember how i lost the baby. How pain im now. But wat the use, cos is already gone. Yes ppl did say im strong. But guys i can tell u ppl, no matter how i smile & joking around. The pain is deep inside moi heart. I wont forget it at all. But really thank you guys for being meet mi up & come to see mi. & i can tell u guy i will overcome it, but the pain wont gone. But i will still b strong & will b happy too.

Hubby i wanna tell u. i love you alot. I know you're upset too about this things. You are strong but your heart are pain too. Hubby let try again after i heal moi body after 4months later okay. I believe everything will be ok & better de. Thanx for always there for mi. I LOVE YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AUDA, JING. STAY HAPPY ALWAYS. ILY

To Yings.


I dunno know how come u will say it mi who spam Eve's blog. As i didnt even do it. Ya now u say is not important but to mi IS IT! Cos this misunderstanding make our friendship worse. I cherish this friendship but end up bcos of the spammer that wasnt mi make u suspect mi. U told mi that moi Ip is that as Eve spammer. But i wasnt know how come.

& wat for i go spam on Eve's blog as she wast moi enemy at all. As i know even know her well. As you say i m one of the spammer in your blog asking izzit you bf stay at bp or driving RVF? Yings i didnt contact u for how long. & i didnt even know your bf at all. How would i know where he stay & drive wat. I didnt even ask u about ur bf things b4 how i will know about him.


As now im upset about moi own problem le, will i still got time to do spam ppl blog. Moi heart is pain now that onli moi hubby know. I dun even have mood to do anything. For wat i wanna spam.

I really dun wan bcos of this misunderstanding make our friendship worse or gone.




I have alot of things to say to him, but due to some problem. I have nv seen moi daddy almost2years le. I do miss him alot too, but i dun dare to go visit him. I know i being veri selfish last time. But i oso know that time cant turn back. If i wish time can turn back. I WONT DO THAT ANYMORE. Cos i really feel guilt ):


Now i juz hope that moi daddy is happy & health always. MISS YOU ALOT MOI DADDY